To him I write
Dear Man,
Did you wake up today and feed the horses? Did you tell your mistress to make you food and did you take one of your sons with you to the ranch? Did you ask her to press your shirt like my grandmother used to? Did you look yourself in the mirror this morning, while slapping on a bottle of strong cologne? Did you comb your sideburns and brush your mustache like you used to? At one point, did you look yourself in the eyes and think of me? Did memories of your family hit you like a ton of bricks? Were there tears this morning? Were there any regrets?
Did you yell out to your youngest son as you closed the gate behind you? Did the dust from the road you travelled on fill up your entire truck?
Are you tired? Does your face show the pain you feel and the pain you have caused? I can only write to you....but honestly I wish I could watch you from a distance. I wish I could hide behind a tree and watch you go about your day====I know exactly what you do in a single day, it plays in my head constantly...Your daily routine is engraved in my mind...
Do your hands hurt from working? Are you sunburned from long days on the ranch? I don't know when I will see you again....maybe It will be when you are no longer breathing, when you no longer can say a word, when you are lifeless...... It'll be too late then!
Today, as you go about your day--I hope that something makes you think of me! I hope you look at a painting, or a small flower on your land--maybe music, or the simple smell of burning garbage---maybe that will trigger it.........I know I think of you each day---I don't want to think of you each day, but i just do-----Damn you for the pain and the hurt you caused our entire family!!!
Sincerely, me
