Seventy-Six

Nov. 27th.2012

Seventy-Six...............tears have fallen
Seventy-Six...............lies you've told
Seventy-Six...............hearts you've broken
Seventy-Six...............lives are torn


Seventy-Six...............years i've dreaded
Seventy-Six................months and more
Seventy-Six................memories embedded
Seventy-Six...............unopened doors

Seventy-Six...............grandchildren
Seventy-Six...............affairs
Seventy-Six...............unfortunates
Seventy-Six...............unfaithful glares


Seventy Six
 One would think that the passing of such years would bring wisdom. Nevertheless, foolishness and despair linger in the emptiness of his blank stare.

 If only I had the strength to forget you.

Happy 76th

Marriage and Cooking

Today is August 23 2012!! This is my husband and I's first "dating" anniversary date where we are no longer "boyfriend and girlfriend".... Our very first time spending August 23 as a married couple.... We lived for this date and would often send gifts and visit each other on this very special day....... I'm completely happy as a wife! I couldn't have asked for a better husband!! He is amazing and his love for me as a husband is incredible! I love him and appreciate him so much....... I can't wait to spend each day of my life with him.... We are a very happily married couple.. He's sexy and gorgeous too... so of course that just makes life better!


Also, I want to say that ever since I have been married, I've gained an awesome 15lbs... Besides that, I want to blog about how proud I am of myself for cooking like my mother and grandmother. I don't know how my meals come out like they do... I surprise myself each day and i am so grateful that I grew up in a Mexican home...... I never thought I could cook traditional Mexican meals, but it turns out that I can .. and i'm proud of that... it makes me happy that my mom taught me well and that I grew up in the kitchen alongside my mom. I can't wait to teach my daughter how to cook... It's more than just cooking, it truly makes me happy.... I enjoy cooking and I enjoy cooking for my husband.. He compliments my cooking and when I see him finish his entire meal, my heart overflows with joy.... I know my husband adores me and my food.... I feel satisfied as a woman that I am able to attend to my husband and that I am able to fill his tummy with yummy food..


Thats all...

Gone

Dear Grandpa, 

It seems like centuries ago but it has only been 4 years. Four painful years since you decided to leave us with nothing but lies and broken hearts. I look at this picture and I feel betrayed. I feel disgusted! I wish I could rip my arm off of your shoulder. If I had only known the truth I wouldn't have come within 10 feet from you. 

I look happy, as happy as a fool. You, you look proud, of course because you are surrounded by your beautiful granddaughters. We were too little to understand that you were a lying cheating man! If only I would have known!! Why didn't any one tell me!!!!!!! Why did I grow up believing in your lies...... You are not a grandfather to me or to any of us... You dirty bastard! You man whore! You're a pathetic excuse for a man!!!! You coward!! I wish I would have never known you! If I wouldn't have ever met you, at least I could have made you up in my mind... I could have imagined a "better version of you".... I could have dreamt you up to be a real hero... ANYTHING, but what you Truly are.... 

I hate the pain you have caused me..  I hate that you haunt me in my dreams.. I hate that you left your wife, sons and daughters. I hate that your grandkids still wonder how you are... I hate you for breathing and living a lie... I hate you for what you have become....... 

I'm trying to get you out of my head... I need to RIP you out of my heart...... I can no longer hold on to the idea that I was once so close to you... HOW COULD I HAVE EVER KNOWN THAT I WOULD GROW UP TO HATE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HATE YOU!! I DESPISE YOU!!!!! 

Yesterday

There is a picture in my mind. It is clear as the day. I see the rocks and long dirt roads. No matter how many years pass by, I still remember as if it were only yesterday. The path is engraved in my mind and my heart will always lead me home. I can get there with my eyes closed but, you don't live there any more..

Someone Like You

Memory: You know how the time flies only yesterday was the time of our lives.

December 24th 2009: I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited, but I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it....and I had hoped you'd see my face and that you would be reminded that for me.... it isn't over.

Memory: Never-mind I will find, someone like you.. I wish nothing but the best for you....

December 24th 2009: I've heard that you've settled down...that you found a girl, and you're married now. I guess she gave you things, we couldn't give to you. I hate that I turned up out of the blue uninvited, but I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it... and I had hoped you'd see my face and that you would be reminded that for me...............it isn't over

Memory: Never-mind I will find someone like you, I wish nothing but the best for you.

Nothing compares, even regrets and mistakes they are memories made. Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste.

A birthday wish for the dead

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday unfaithful grandpa

Happy birthday to you.

I hope you like "my" version of the Birthday song. You are 75 today and it's hard to believe that three years have gone by. We know how time flies, and only yesterday was the time of our lives. You made a choice, left our hearts bleeding red, with nothing but a memory, here is a birthday wish for the dead.

Even though I have cried and have a tear stained soul, I wish you well, long lost grandfather, I wish you well.

The memories

I get lost in my memories. Some good, some bad but nevertheless a memory. I am thankful for my memory, for the ability to go back in time and remember all that has happened.